Sacrificing for Love

So let me set the scene for you. I was only a couple months into my 24th year of life and I had my son who had just turned one. So far not too bad, but I was also six months pregnant with my daughter and to top it all off, I was suddenly single. It was like I was bitch slapped by reality and it had left my head spinning.

I had graduated from high school but had dropped out of University because I was unsure of what I wanted to do with my life and spending a bunch of money on that seemed ridiculous. So I was 24 with one kid and one on the way, I was back living at my dads place because I had no savings and I didn’t have anyway to make the money I needed for my family. I was confronted by so many questions about my future and that of my children’s. How was I going to support my little family? How could I provide for them? Could I handle all of it alone? 

Well it was time to go back to school. I would really love to say I picked something I wanted, something that I was passionate about, but practicality killed that (I want to write and that doesn’t really leave a lot of cash to support a family with). So the logical side of me ( I think she has pointy Spock ears) decided on something that took the least amount of schooling and makes the most amount of money. I would become a Dental Hygienist. I sacrificed my dreams to pursue a career I didn’t really have much of an interest in. I sacrificed a lot to make sure I put my children’s needs before my own; their wants before mine. I don’t regret any of it but sometimes my mind likes to play the “what if…?” game. What if I didn’t have kids? What if I could do whatever I wanted? But in the end I love my kids and wouldn’t want my life to be with out them. I have found ways to balance some of my wants with theirs. I make time for me and will find away to do what I want to do without sacrificing my families securities. None of it is easy and at times I feel as if I have lost my mind as well as myself but I seem to always find my hope and try to have faith that things will work out.

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